Finally Learning to Trust Again

By Ashtyn Britt
abritt@lc.edu

Learning to trust someone is one of the most difficult things a person can do. To trust someone requires that we be completely honest and vulnerable with them about the things we do not want to talk to anyone about. This can be made especially difficult when someone has broken our trust before, because it naturally makes us more defensive. I personally know this very well, having been hurt enough times by enough people to never want to trust anyone again.

So, how do we learn to trust again after we have been hurt? Well, it is not easy, but all we can really do is try to accept that the new person in our life technically has not given us a reason to not trust them. My older sister once said after a breakup that she would not let it discourage her from love because “I know there are still good men in the world, I just happened to pick a bad one. The next one I pick, I won’t judge for what the bad one did. I’ll make sure to pick a good one.” That advice has stuck with me a long time now, and I try to apply it as much as possible.

This can also apply when trying to rebuild trust with someone who has already broken it. The only way you can be sure you are willing to try to rebuild your trust, is that you have to love that person more than hating whatever it is they did. If you do, then you can sit down and try to figure out exactly the way to repair your relationship, as each specific situation may require different needs. It is natural that we may make mistakes in who we choose to trust, but that does not mean we should punish the world to protect ourselves. The best thing to learn how to trust someone, is to give them a fair chance. That is how we build lifelong friendships and relationships.

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