You Can’t Make Someone Change

By Alexandra Blockton
ablockton@lc.edu

In order for someone to make a difference in their life, they have to be the one to want to make a difference themselves. You cannot simply just change someone; it does not seem to work out that way!

The individual has to have the desire to want better for themselves in life overall. Many times people think that just because you are in some kind of relationship with someone, you are entitled to the power of changing them. Ultimately, a person has to start doing things to better themselves on their own. Without them trying to do better on their own, someone else trying to help them does not mean anything at all.

In some situations, people just do not want to change because they are too stuck in their ways, which will get them the same results they have been receiving in life. In that case, if someone is too stubborn to make changes for the better, your help does not mean anything. It does not matter what you do or say to that person; they will continue to do what they have been doing!

Initially, change is not about control, it is about making positive decisions and accomplishing the goals you set to achieve in life. But, you have to be determined and willing to get the work done that comes along with making the changes in your life. Every individual is distinct and one person’s goals are going to be different from the next person’s.

On this journey called life, we all have choices to make, and we have control over our very own lives to do what is best for us in those choices we choose to make. Always remember trying to change someone in life will get you nowhere because a person is going to do what they want to do regardless of what you are saying, even if it consists of a positive outcome!

Overall you can lead by example. Instead of giving someone answers, start giving them better questions, and offer help unconditionally. It is not always about controlling someone or dictating their pace in life!

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About Alexandra Thompson

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