Adrien Gojko
ggojko@lc.edu

Dear Uncle Louis,

I’m having trouble with telling my crush that I like them that way. We’ve been friends since I started college two years ago, and I’m just afraid of what’ll happen. What if things change for the worse? Thanks.

Sincerely,

-Crushed by Fear

 

Dear Crushed by Fear,

I think it’s always a good idea to be upfront and straightforward about your feelings, especially when you really care about the other party. I don’t have a lot of context here, but if the only thing holding you back really is just the fear of it changing things, then, I’d say don’t let it.

I can see this going one of three ways: harsh rejection, light rejection, and getting together. If they were to reject you and say you can’t be friends anymore, then that’d be crummy of them and would also tell you how worthwhile the friendship itself was to them anyway.

If they reject you and say you can still be friends, then nothing much should change, right? And finally, if the feelings are reciprocated, then you guys might actually have a decent shot at being a happy couple!

I see this as a win-win-win situation, in all honesty. You’ll lose someone not worth having, continue the friendship, or get exactly the change in dynamic what you’re wanting.

You’ve got nothing to lose, and everything to gain in this situation. Just make sure you’re emotionally prepared for any potential outcome you truly don’t want.

After all, life is always full of change. I, personally, tend to embrace those times as opportunities for growth.

This situation will help you to grow and communicate better in the long run. It’ll be hard, potentially, and it is trial and error.

Even if it works out in what you see as the worst way possible, I can tell you right now that everything will be okay. I’d advise against catastrophizing this into a bigger issue.

No matter what happens, I’m sure you’re worthwhile, Crushed by Fear.  I can most definitely assure you that with or without this person around you, you’ll be okay as long as you love yourself. Eventually, things like relationships will fall into place for you if you persist through life.