The Kowtow Wife, Who Doesn’t Want a Divorce; “Open House” by Elizabeth Berg

By Alexandra Blockton
ablockton@lc.edu

Initially, reading this novel Open House by Elizabeth Berg had my mind all over the place while reading. Trying to figure out why Sam just doesn’t realize she is better off by herself. I was shocked by how a woman completely let herself go over a man who no longer wanted to be with her. Personally, I could never steer myself into continuing to love a man who no longer wants me at all whatsoever. Of course, it is a hurtful feeling! I think it would be best for her to stop acting so confusing and make an ultimate decision on agreeing to the fact he doesn’t want her. While reading it will definitely have you wondering what is going to happen next in the book.

Sam is married to David and she is so terrified of him wanting to move on with his life and end the marriage. As the author made me feel as if Sam was begging David not to leave her and their young son Travis. Unfortunately, that was not the plan because no matter what happened he demanded a divorce. Simply he just didn’t want her anymore! I think even though it may hurt, she will eventually heal from the pain she endured from him leaving her.

It is so unhealthy when you are in love with someone, yet you are in need of counseling because at the end of the day if you do not love yourself who else is going to love you? I’m solely referring to true love starts within not from dishing out your love to someone because no matter what you have to love yourself first.

Sam had grown to become mentally ill and suffered from a desperate need of David. It was sickening because she would always cry like a baby and never wanted to accept the fact he was leaving her as well as having another woman. Who was special in his life now!

Sexually, Sam was hooked on him and craved his love and affection throughout the long days  and night as if he was returning home. It was as if Sam was ready to bow down to David’s every command no matter how bad their issues amongst each other seemed to be. Even though he had left the marriage he still insisted on helping Sam pay bills and mortgage payments etc. All she was worried about was the next time she was going to get laid by him. She refused his help numerous times.

Once I continued to read more she seemed clueless, and no morals of being independent. Which made me personally realize how I would never want to solely depend on a man in a marriage because you never know when he may decide to leave. It’s sad to see a beautiful woman with no way to turn in this cold world. After wasting so many years in a marriage that wasn’t even meant to be.

I think it was very stupid of her to be going out trying to find a new partner while going through a divorce and still broken emotionally at the same time. It would have been best for her to find out exactly who she is as a woman and give herself time to start loving herself. Rather than  looking for it in another man!

If Sam would have never depended on her husband the entire marriage she wouldn’t have to go through the stage of trying to find herself so late in her lifetime. Of course, it’s beautiful when a husband and wife gets married and the husband wants to be the caretaker without the wife working and getting no education. But it can hurt a woman in the long run when she waits until later in life. To decide she wants to search for employment. It will be a challenge because who wants to hire someone nowadays without a degree as well as experience for the job. Otherwise you will just end up struggling to make ends meet. By working a low end job making minimum wage hourly pay.  Overall, she depended on her husband way too much during their marriage and it showed once he left her. Because she had no money at all whatsoever.

I could never sit back and cry myself depressively over someone who has literally shown me they do not want me at all. Especially, if they have moved on in a relationship because I would only be hurting myself even more.  David  moved on with his life and he showed it by his actions. I know it takes time to heal after departing your separate ways in a marriage. But when someone loses total interest in you and moves on with someone else. There is no need to sit back and cry and wonder what you did wrong because it will not fix the marriage/relationship. You will only be hurting yourself!

I recommend this book to someone who loves drama, has marriage/relationship issues, or who may tend to be currently in the process of a divorce. Also if you are divorced it’s a good read just depressing in many ways. Otherwise you would probably just look at Sam as being a big cry baby who really needs to get over the fact that David no longer wants her. As well as, her needing to just start focusing on her and Travis from here on out.

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